It's been forever

So it's been forever since I've blogged figured why not start doing it again.... my life has changed so much in the past 16 months.... I dk where to even start.... who am I kidding I do...
Let's start off with the love of my life Dustin Byars and how we met... I got a message on pof from him and of course thought to myself he lives an hr in a half away and here's to another guy I'm going to talk to for a few days and hes going to try to talk me into meeting him within the first week and ask me to send him naked pictures of myself and when I refuse that would be the end of it.... but it wasn't like that at all we talked everyday all day for a few weeks and then eventually when I was ready talked on the phone... we talked about anything and everything he told me from the beginning that he had two boys and was still married but they were separated.... eventually after about three weeks of him still showing interest and not being a creep I agreed to meet him so he drove an hr in a half away to meet me at Jeffersons  in Belleville and let's just say it started off with me being five hrs late and him sitting in a parking lot waiting on me... hahah I was nervous as heck and figured after I was 30 min late he would just leave... and I wouldn't have to go through with it but no he waited FIVE HRS IN A PARKING LOT.... so I went through with it nervous as hell but I went through with it I pull up in the parking lot and there is he is in this clean Chrysler 300 he got out I hugged him and he smelled so good.... we sat down and I ordered a salad and a water and he ordered a big ass bacon cheese burger plain with fries.... he talked and I Listened And Played with my dangley bracelet non stop became I was so nervous.... The meal was like $20 hey I'm a cheap date well then I was... lol he tip the waitress $20 I thought to myself he must have money who the hell tips the waitress 20 when our meal was only 20 anyways then after we ate I sat in his car with him for a bit and we talked and he made me cry(yes on our first date) some how we got on the subject about my past and it made me choke up... then when it was time for me to go he leaned in and kissed me I kissed him back like I would Kiss my gma(his words) lips shut and real quick I was nervous.... our date only lasted an hr or so... he sat in the parking lot longer than our date lasted lol.... he made it official that night too 10/27/2013 I think he was scared someone else was going to get to me first lol.... so i go home and tell my mom sister and gma all about my date I'm sure they knew it went good because of how giddy I was... the next day he sent me flowers to work and then the following day we went on our second date I met him at Jeffersons again and he drove us to lottawatta creek and then went to the mall because he said my phone case was junk and I needed a new one so he bought me a otter box then we sat in the parking lot of the mall and talked for a while and then I went home... a few days later it was the weekend and he wanted me to meet him dad step mom and brother and stay with him... so he came and got me and met my mom sister and gma so we he drove me to salem to meet them and me him and his brother watched the conjuring and after the movie me and dustin laid in his bed and talked and cuddled and then made out and just enjoyed each others company  I felt like a teenager well he was supposed to go to work and he was going to take me home but I wasn't ready to go home yet either so he said why don't we get a hotel room and stay there he didn't want his dad knowing he was calling off work so that's what we did he got us a hotel room and that's when I gave it up such such a whore of me lol giving it up so quickly... it was all my fault too... he didn't try to pressure me or anything we stayed at the hotel all wkend long I know in a previous blog I had posted that I I never had a orgasam so I have to add that he gave me my first one... and then after that he couldn't get enough of me(not my vagina either) he was driving to come and get me every other day or few days at first and then it turned into a everyday thing... but we couldn't get enough of each other we wanted to see each other everyday....  About a month after being together I found out I was pregnant eekkk I never thought I could have kids and we hadn't been together that long but I didn't care we were excited so then we decided that we would move into together so I found us a apartment and he moved to Cahokia around the beginning of December.... yes I know we were moving pretty quickly we had only been together for not even two months and I was pregnant and we were moving in together but we were happy and that's all that mattered.... when I I was about three weeks pregnant I had a miscarriage.... we were both very upset he took it harder than I did.... I think it was because it hadn't really hit me yet that I was actually pregnant.... but we dealt with it.... In February his ex decided to let the kids Kaiden and Kylen come stay with us so I got to meet them for the very first time of course they didn't really have much to do with me which is understandable they didn't understand what was going On and they hadn't seen there dad in awhile because she wouldn't let them... they stayed the wkend with us we took them to get frozen yogurt and and played xbox.... Dustin took them back home and when he came back I could tell how hard it was on him not being able to see them all the time... Over the next few months we had our ups and downs... we were struggling trying to pay our bills dustin had went through three jobs tiffany (his ex) was trying to make our lives a living hell especially his not letting him see the kids and just doing everything she could to try and break us apart... spring came and she filled for divorce we didn't have the money to get him a lawyer so that's why he didn't file.... Summer came and dustin started working for a cable company working six days a week fifteen hr days I never got to see him so things got hard for us we started arguing more and we're both depressed couldn't catch up on our bills couldn't see the kids didn't get to see each other.... In July we decided that he was going to move back home to salem and I was going to move in with my dad because we couldn't afford our apartment and bills and it was really breaking him down not seeing his kids just writing this is making me teary-eyed it was very hard on both of us to be and hr away from each other again. .. we would go weeks without seeing each other and I was very depressed I cried all the time I was miserable I just wanted to be with him everyday.... it was rough I started looking for a job in salem because he wasn't moving back to Cahokia it was to hard on him being away from the boys which I totally understood...so we continued to not see each other hardly and when we did it was so hard for me to leave eventually his mom started to come and get me every wkend and in October I applied for a job at a hospital in salem and a few weeks later I got the job so I put my two weeks in at atrium and told my family that I was moving to salem they of course wasn't excited about it because they didn't want me leaving but I had to do what was going to make me happy... and that was being able to see my bf everyday so the end of October I started my new journey new town new job...His mom and step dad let me move in with them until we could find out own place.... it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be I wasn't getting to see dustin all the time because be was living with his dad and I couldn't stay there alot and there wasn't anywhere for both of us to sleep at his mom's.... I was sleeping on the couch or on a air mattress.... I was missing my family.... I felt a lone...Around Thanksgiving I found out I was pregnant again I went home to visit and to tell my mom sister and nannie.... my visit home wasn't very pleasant my mom treated me like crap and I missed dustin the entire time I was there... In January dustins divorce was finalized he got a lawyer because tiffany and hers kept fucking him.... I couldn't be Happier that's it's over.... I continued to live with his mom and sleep on the couch and air mattress I finally told dustin I couldn't keep doing that we had to get an Apartment so we Saved up and Here I am laying in our bed in our apartment Almost 17 weeks Pregnant writing this blog.... I couldn't be happier I get to sleep next to the love of my life every night and I'll be a mommy the end of July....Things are still hard.... we're still struggling with money we don't hardly get to see each other because lately we've both been working so much were both extremely tired but after everything we've been through these past 16 months I Don't think anything can break us!!!