Emotional wreck....

So lets play catch up I went to the doctor in January

Dr. Collantes in Columbia he seems legit

anyways he subscribed me Lexapro 10 mg for my depression and anxiety(the reason I was going to the doc) well I took it for a couple wks I was still depressed and crying all the time so he up me to 20 mg still didn't work so then he put me on wellbutrin don't know what the mg was...still nothing so now he has me on wellbutrin xl 300 mg well im still crying and depressed all the time while in the mean time I have been seeing a therapist...but its hard to explain to her why I am depressed I have told her some things but some stuff I dk how to say I guess...The anxiety part of the pill is def. helping just isn't helping my depression!

 

Reasons why I am depressed

I feel as if my mother has never really been there for me and im not talking about materialistic things just emotionally and physically shes always cared more about herself and who she was with at the time and has always put them first.. of coarse If you ask her that's not true.. Ive never really been able to talk to my mom, yes I pretty much tell her everything but she always blows it off ..but yeah I am trying to be here for her as much as I can and doing so and what she is going through at the moment is making me more depressed...she has not been to work since the second wk of Jan. she had a nervous break down and has been seeing a therapist and was in out patient therapy at the hospital the and has been diagnose with ptsd(post traumatic stress disorder ) all of these is caused because of her boss... she is supposted to be getting short term disability but dk whats going to happen there because he has fired her which he cant do because she is on medical....so therefore she doesn't have any kind of income coming in besides the money that she gets from my sisters dad for child support and The little money that her fiancée gives her...if I could held her I would but I am broke as hell trying to pay my own bills and still having to borrow money from her and my gma to get gas a ciggs so yeah that's another reason why im depressed because im so broke...

next reason why I am depressed which I believe that I have mentioned in another post im ready for kids im and I feel like in the next five years or so I should be having kids...im not in a relationship with anyone or having sex and don't know if I ever will be or if I even want to be....somedays I do and somedays I don't I dk a sperm donor would be just fine lol and I know that right now isn't the right time because Im not where I need to be financially but when is the right time?

I mean I dk if I will ever be financially stable I mean is anyone?